


Nightmare Visions

by heroineaddict



Category: Digimon Adventure
Genre: Kind of angsty, Slight Canon Divergence, eventual taichi/yamato, the title overdramatizes the story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-13 19:31:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18947389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heroineaddict/pseuds/heroineaddict
Summary: A Taichi/Yamato view on the last arc of 01 into 02. Yamato has lots of feelings, and Taichi is bad at expressing his.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First dabbling in this fandom since sometime in 2001. Constructive criticism on characterization welcome.

Footsteps are loud in the stairwells outside the TV station. Yamato hears them from far off, knowing it’s Taichi, running, from the sound of it. He wishes he could hide. 

He failed Taichi. He didn’t protect Hikari, and now the enemy has her. 

Nightmare visions flood his brain. He tried. It wasn’t enough. It doesn’t matter that he almost died. 

Sora seems to sense he wants to be alone, so she wanders away. Yamato hears her whispered words echoed in the stairwell. He deliberately doesn’t listen. 

The footsteps slow as Taichi approaches him. 

“Where’s Hikari?”

Yamato can’t even answer. His eyes look everywhere but at Taichi, unwilling to see the judgement in his eyes for failing. 

“Yamato. Where’s Hikari?” 

It’s a long moment before Yamato can answer, eyes trained firmly on the floor. He sees Taichi’s trainers, can hear the commotion outside, smell the sharp tang of slightly rusted metal of the staircases, but none of it matters right now. 

“I’m sorry. He got her. Phantomon took her.”

Taichi lets out a noise of anguish, one Yamato understands; if Takeru had been the one in Myotismon’s hands now, he’d feel the same way. 

“How?” Taichi gasps out, leaning onto the railing for support. Yamato can’t answer, fingers instead rising to his throat, memory of a heavy chain and too little oxygen raw and fresh as his eyes squeeze shut. 

“She sacrificed herself,” Gabumon offers helpfully. “Phantomon was about to kill Yamato, and Hikari went with him to stop him.”

“Gabumon,” Yamato hisses softly; what happened to him doesn’t matter. His hand falls to his side. 

Taichi is in his personal space now, causing Yamato’s eyes to fly open. Taichi tips Yamato’s chin up and lets out a soft gasp at the angry red welts on Yamato’s neck. His fingers trace gently, seeking to understand through touch. Yamato hisses softly. 

“Yamato?”

“I tried,” is all Yamato manages after a moment. “I couldn’t...I tried. I’m sorry. It’s my fault.”

He hears Taichi’s tongue cluck in disagreement. “Sure doesn’t seem like it.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Yamato is incensed, angry because he tried and he knows it wasn’t good enough but he tried and doesn’t that count for anything? He wrenches out of Taichi’s grasp and steps back. “You think I didn’t try to stop her? She wouldn’t listen to me! I couldn’t stop her, okay? I’m sorry! So you can take your judgeme-“

“Yamato!” Taichi interjects, closing the space again and covering his mouth. “That’s not what I meant!”

Yamato yanks away again, blood pounding. “Then what did you mean?” he all but sneers. He’s not going to let Taichi make him feel worse, if it was even possible. 

After a long moment, Taichi lets out a long breath. “I meant it didn’t look like it was your fault. It looks like he almost got you, too. Look, I know Hikari is the eighth chosen child and everything, but that doesn’t mean I- we don’t need you, too. And besides...” 

There’s a pregnant pause. 

“Besides what?” Yamato finally asks. It looks like Taichi is blushing, the muted light making it difficult to tell. 

“Well, besides. You’re my friend,” Taichi offers, haste tingeing his words. “You’re part of the team, we all need you. And I don’t want to lose you- any of you.”

There’s something unsaid in Taichi’s words, but right now there’s no time to ponder it. He finally settles for, “Okay. You’re my friend too, you know.”

Friend might mean something else right now, Yamato isn’t sure. But maybe after this is all over, they can figure it out.


	2. Chapter 2

When Yamato thinks back on the last day, two days, he’s not sure really, it’s just a blur. 

 

So much happened; Hikari and Tailmon were reunited, Myotismon was defeated and then came right back, he and Taichi had to get _shot with arrows_ to defeat Myotismon, and now they’re back in the digital world. 

 

He’s exhausted. He offered to take first watch so that everyone else could sleep, since right now he knows he can’t. He can sit by the fire just fine. Gabumon is sleeping, which doesn’t bother Yamato at all, he knows Gabumon needs it. The night is clear, at least, which means keeping watch is easy enough. Not even a cloud to mar the starry sky. 

 

The fire dances in front of him as he stares blankly, trying to process the fact that he thought he was going to die twice in the last week. He thinks that might be why he doesn’t want to sleep; he’ll probably have nightmares. 

 

Crickets, or something that sounds like a cricket, chirp in the distance as a cool breeze cascades through, sweeping the heat of the fire into his face. He sighs softly and canvasses the horizon; nothing there. 

 

Twice, he thought he was going to die. First with Phantomon, he thinks he’ll have the marks from that for a long time. The second time, Angemon shot him. He thinks that was less traumatic, since at the end of the day, Angemon is an angel, after all. But still, the thought had been in the back of his kind. _What if it goes wrong?_

He shoves the thoughts away; dwelling doesn’t help him concentrate, and it doesn’t change anything. He didn’t get choked to death by Phantomon, and Angemon’s arrow just helped Gabumon. So it’s fine. _He’s_ fine. 

 

He’s not fine. But it’s fine. 

 

A rustling from behind him reaches his ears and he’s instantly on his feet, whipping around to the source of the noise. 

 

“Relax, Yamato, it’s just me.”

 

Taichi. Yamato hasn’t given Taichi any thought yet, hasn’t wanted to. Not yet.

 

“Couldn’t sleep?” he asks as he sits back down on the log beside the fire. Taichi plops down next to him, making the log rattle. 

 

“Nope. Too keyed up. You want me to take over?”

 

“Nah, I’m fine.” Yamato hears the lie, but it’s fine. “Couldn’t sleep even if I wanted to.”

 

“Yeah,” Taichi says softly. “It’s been a crazy...what has it been? A day?”

 

“Two, I think.” Yamato lets out a mirthless laugh. “I really have no idea.”

 

“Me either,” Taichi agrees, turning slightly. “But hey, I uh. Wanted to thank you.”

 

Yamato turns, surprised. “What for?”

 

“Well,” Taichi begins, and Yamato can see his cheeks tinted red in the firelight, “I mean, I- well, you didn’t have to hold onto me before. With the arrows. But...” 

 

“Oh.” Yamato shrugs, because it was as much for himself as it was anyone else. He did initiate it, after all. “It’s fine, had to make sure you didn’t chicken out.” 

 

The teasing falls flat. Taichi shakes his head. 

 

“No really, I meant it. That was...I mean it could’ve gone really wrong. I-“ Taichi breaks off, and shrugs. 

 

“Glad it was you with me, I guess.”

 

The admission is surprising; Yamato never thought Taichi really cared about him all that much besides as a teammate, and a strong one at that. He’s proud that he and Gabumon are just as strong as Taichi and Agumon, when he stops to consider it. He just doesn’t consider it often, because it makes him feel used. And vain. 

 

“Really?” He speaks without thinking. Taichi nods, tension leaching from his posture as it becomes clear Yamato isn’t going to punch him. 

 

“Yeah. I mean, we’re friends, right? Why wouldn’t I have wanted you there?”

 

Yamato shrugs. “Maybe because no one else has a Digimon as strong as yours but me?”

 

The venom is in his voice, he hears it. He’s just not sure if it’s directed at himself or not. 

 

“No, that’s not it,” Taichi tries, helplessness plain in his voice. “I didn’t mean- you’re not just my friend because of that, you’re not my friend because of that at all. You’re-“

 

“It’s fine,” Yamato interjects. “Really. I get it.”

 

Taichi falls silent, mouth still gaping slightly. Yamato thinks he looks like a goldfish. 

 

“You sure?”

 

“Yeah.” Yamato _is_ sure, or at least sure that he wants to leave this conversation here before it gets into something he’s not ready for. 

 

“It’s fine.”

 

Taichi sighs softly. “Anyway. Thanks.”

 

“Welcome,” Yamato replies easily. “Don’t mention it.”

 

Taichi just hums an acknowledgement, and slides down to rest his head on the log, hands folded to cushion it from the bark. 

 

“Think we’ll ever be done with this?” he asks quietly, words almost lost over the crackle of the fire. Yamato replies with a noncommittal noise. 

 

“What’s that mean?” Taichi tilts his head to look directly at Yamato. Yamato just shrugs. 

 

“I don’t know,” he finally says. “I hope so.”

 

“Yeah,” Taichi agrees, looking back up at the stars. “Not that it’s not nice here or anything, but...”

 

“Well we do have four of the most powerful Digimon in the digital world trying to kill us,” Yamato offers helpfully. Taichi chuckles softly. 

 

“True. But I wouldn’t mind coming back here for fun when this is all over.”

 

“Really?”

 

Taichi hums an agreement. “Why not?”

 

“Bad memories?”

 

“Nah. We’ve had good ones, too.”

 

Yamato thinks of the moment in the warehouse, and deliberately does not think of the moment they all found Taichi had returned to the digital world after destroying Etemon. He nods. “Yeah, I guess there have been good times.”

 

“Told ya.” Taichi yawns. “You sure you don’t want me to take over?”

 

“What, and have you fall asleep? We’ll be Kuwagamon bait in no time,” Yamato quips, making Taichi chuckle. 

 

“Fine. I’m going to sleep, then.”

 

“Fine,” Yamato says, settling back to continue his watch. “But don’t snore.”

 

When Taichi  snores in response, Yamato only smiles. Taichi is right, this could be worse. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More of this is coming. Feedback and suggestions welcome.

Yamato knows he fucked up. Cherrymon manipulated him, used him, to fight a battle the Dark Masters couldn’t fight and Yamato didn’t need to.

There wasn’t any time to make amends, and if Yamato is honest with himself, he’s...he’s not avoiding it.

He knows he’s avoiding it. But it’s fine. He’s fine.

He’s not fine. But it’s fine.

Their time is running short; Gennai told them there’s only hours until they have to say goodbye to a world that’s been...

Not quite home. But it’s not so strange, not anymore.

He pulls his harmonica out, Gabumon by his side one last time as he plays. Music has always soothed him.

Not this time.

He pours the anguish he’s not allowing himself to feel into his music; the only outlet that feels appropriate. Gabumon tries to hum along, the sound bringing a smile to his face.

And then just like that, they’re home. Yamato isn’t sure what to do with himself now. Takeru is back with their mom, and Yamato is alone again.

Which is fine.

He stares out the window, wondering what to do now. His fingers trace the harmonica in his pocket, but it doesn’t feel right. Not when the last time he played was for Gabumon. Not yet.

A knock on the door to the apartment startles him; he pads across the room to answer it, not all that surprised to see Taichi on the other side.

“Hey.” Taichi doesn’t wait to be invited in and pushes past, immediately heading to the couch and sitting down. “C’mere. We gotta talk.”

“Please, come in,” Yamato drawls, closing the door and making his way to the couch, stepping over Taichi’s gracelessly kicked off trainers. He sits on the couch, sinking into the old cushions in a way that feels inappropriate for what’s bound to be a serious conversation.

“I-“ Taichi begins determinedly, before Yamato cuts him off.

“Don’t. I know what you’re gonna say.”

“Oh?” Taichi challenges, arms folding. “You know what I’m here to talk about?”

Yamato shrugs uncomfortably, knowing it's time for him to answer for his actions, the attack, everything. “What else would you be here about?”

An eyebrow arch is his response. “What do you think I’m here about?”

Another shrug. “What else? I was...I...really fucked up,” Yamato finally says, eyes cast on the cushion in front of him.

“Oh,” Taichi says, sounding surprised. Yamato can’t look at him. “I- yeah, you’re right. That’s why I’m here.” His words come quickly, almost like he’s relieved to talk about this instead of something else.

Yamato doesn’t know what else there’d be to talk about. He lifts his eyes to Taichi, whose cheeks are slightly pink.

“Is that not why you’re here?”

“No, you’re right, that’s why I’m here, I just wanted to tell you that everything’s forgiven and we can be friends again!”

“Tai-“

“No really, I promise, everything’s great! I just wanted to make sure you knew that. And I wanted to see if you were okay,” Taichi finishes, taking a breath after he’s finished speaking.

Yamato arches an eyebrow; this wasn’t what Taichi came here to talk about, but he’s not willing to press the issue right now.

“I don’t think any of us are really okay,” Yamato finally says. “Are you?”

Taichi shrugs, tension visibly draining from his body. “Not right now. But...you know, eventually.”

“Yeah.”

“Right.” Taichi stands, looking uncomfortable. “I’ll just...go, then.”

“No.” Yamato surprises himself by grabbing Taichi’s wrist. “Stay, we can watch a movie or something.”

Surprisingly, Taichi complies and sinks back onto the couch, settling in comfortably; much more like the Taichi Yamato knows.

“I get to pick. Guest’s honor.”

Yamato laughs and hands over the remote. This is fine, he thinks.


End file.
